It all stems back to the '80s and my first big solo overseas trip and the Dad and Daughter I met (see the About Me page for details) and as I sit here at Changi Airport (Singapore) waiting for our flight to Tokyo I have this momentary feeling of panic.....and the questions runs through my head.....WHAT WAS I THINKING????
No it's not the language barriers or those crowded train journeys ( I know I've seen the videos) that terrify me, it's not battling queues of Disney-goers in LA or the fleet footed New Yorkers who are likely to trample me as I amble down the streets that scare me, it's spending a month, just the two of us, with my eldest daughter Samara on her 21st birthday trip.
It's not that we don't get along, like a lot of mothers and daughters when we get along it's great but when we don't.....well.....let's hope we don't find out about that here :) and a month together is going to test our relationship in a whole lot of ways.
It's Samara's first overseas trip and for as long as I can remember she's wanted to go to the US, but half way through last year Japan became the big focus and she wanted to know if we could do both....my first thought was WOOHOO I've never been to Japan and it's been on my to do list and the next was OH CRAP I hope I can afford it, and thankfully that hurdle was overcome when I got great affordable flights from the travel agent, travelling Singapore Airlines and Korean Air (there are going to be a couple of really long flights but I know I'm going to enjoy it ....fingers crossed :) )
Japan and the US two totally different countries and cultures, is it going to be a good mix? Samara and Shirley out there in the world together....is it going to be a good mix LOL?
I've had this journey in the back of my head since I was 19; that one day I would be making this trip (the first of four with my children although at 19 children were the furtherest thought in my head and the fact that I was going to have four of them....WOW didn't expect that!!!) My biggest fear is that it doesn't met expectations, that the Dad and Daughter is a rose-coloured memory and the Mum and Daughter adventure is going to be less than I imagined.
What if Samara is disappointed? That the trip is not everything she wanted it to be? That the wide-eyed wonder of travel that I still experience (even after all this time) is lost on my slightly more cynical daughter....
But then I look over at her now as she takes another photo through the window of the plane sitting on the tarmac and I ask myself the same question.
What was I thinking? Why am I worrying, this is going to be an awesome adventure for the two of us to share and somehow I have the feeling that it might just be the first of many for Samara.